Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Bette Midler Class.

Otherwise known as freshmen.

Monday, May 30, 2011

Thesaurus rex.

Miss Lanham is in a class by herself.

Go to the headache of the class.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Michigan J. Phone.

The long-lost Warner Brothers character.

"Hello, my honey. Hello, my baby. Hello, my ragtime gal."

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Not fans of Horace.

Barney and family obviously do not hold with, "De gustibus non est disputandum."

Friday, May 27, 2011

Closed loop.

Isn't it obvious? Time is Lima Bean-shaped.

It's deja vu all over again. I get the feeling that parental visits to the principal are a closed loop.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Lima think about it for a second.

Butterbeans! The capital of Peru is Butterbeans!

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Blood from a srtone, too.

A cat may look at a king. But it would take Catwoman to get a raise.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Duane duty.

Just the job of constantly wiping up the pool of drool around Duane merits a raise.

Monday, May 23, 2011

The General.

Apparently, Duane has never seen Buster Keaton's The General.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Friday, May 20, 2011

Bee Holder.

The eyes have it.

Booty is in the eye of the beholder.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

An oral contract.

Not worth the paper it's written on.

Exactly as we learned it in Mrs. Mondegreen's class.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Pledge Week.

The worst is Pledge Week at PBS, which has expanded from one week four times a year to two weeks every three months.

And don't get him started about the Boy Scouts.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Rule number one.

It's the exception that proves the rule.

There was a farmer had a dog...

Monday, May 16, 2011


That would be the "purtiest," not "prettiest." And exceptionalism demands "ever" at the end.

Sunday, May 15, 2011


All the things that made America great, Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Sex.

And bizarrely like today's Bizarro.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Friday, May 13, 2011

The view from the couch.

Lucretia was won over the moment she caught a glimpse of his prodigious...


Thursday, May 12, 2011

Zeroing in.

All the zeroes in front of the decimal make it tolerable.

I think Barney already covered this with his "honesty" talk at the restaurant. Clyde is cheaper by the hour.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

A good foundation.

Victoria's Secret is a good foundation for any marriage is what Dr. Marcie is saying.

Barney skipped right over Miss September.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Picassos don't come cheap.

Barney refers to Lucretia as his amusement park.

Monday, May 9, 2011

A good foundation for any marriage.

Victoria's Secret is Lucretia's secret.

And by progress, Dr. Marcie means "the juicy stuff."

Sunday, May 8, 2011


Whatever happened to Louise Robey, star of Friday the 13th, the TV series?

Cynthia might want to look up "hot water bottle" and "thermometer" on the interwebs.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

The Pillsbury Crime Family.

It's like The Godfather, Part 3.

Cynthia wishes her mother was a criminal and thinks Lucretia already is one.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Jiminy Cricket.

And always let your conscience be your guide.
If you have one.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011


Their horoscopes predicted this!
You will meet a stranger with a sausage.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Graphite Valley Magnate.

There's also the fact that they both have friends in hi-tech.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Emma's High School Years.


And the crosswords are blonded-down, too.