Nobody's fool.

 No fool like an April Fool.

Answer a fool according to his own folly.

A loaf of bread, a jug of wine.

 He's one up on Omar Khayyam.

He didn't even have the sardines.

All her eggs.

 And should have seen her scrambling to catch it.

Don't ask for bacon, whatever you do.

Above suspicion.

 What a wild and crazy idea.

How do such rumors start?

Nosferatu.

 Max Schreck looks very lively for his age.

His usual dapper self.

The Book of Daniel.

 The original handwriting on the wall: Mene, Mene, Tekel, Parsin.

You have been weighed in the balanced and found wanting.

Cynthia's handwriting, "A nation of sheep begets a government of wolves."

Variously attributed to Bertrand de Jouvenel and Edward R. Murrow.

Hare today.

 Isn't that a Steve Martin cartoon?

He should audition for the Easter Bunny.

Resistance is futile.

 Erosion is a process.

He's wearing you down.

Green-eyed monster.

 Maybe just a little bit jealous?

She knows him too well.

On the horns of a dilemma.

 Solving the Gordian Knot with Occam's Razor.

 Cut to the chase.

And a hearty Heigh Ho.

 A horse with the speed of light...

 Should be called Photon not Silver.

Space Oddity.

He also plays Goldfinger's chauffeur and jack-of-all-trades. 

But what does he do to windows?

Wether or not.

 Usually, it's a monkey that rides the sheep.

How they got a baby goat to ride it, nobody knows.

Oils well that end well.

 In the immortal words of the Edwin Drake,

  Can you dig it, man?

Mean Girls reboot.

 Being a bully never goes out of style.

It just becomes a political asset.

Blarney & Clyde.

 Snakes are not slimy, and only lie in the sun.

Full of blarney.

When you assume.

 I assume that it is too personal after all.

Evasion is an essential life skill.

44 B.C.

 Caesar was stabbed right in his rotunda.

Among other vital places.

The secret life of pets.

 Apparently, everybody does have a price.

He does have a Jacuzzi. It's called a stew pot.

I've Got No Strings.

 In the words of Pinocchio...

There are no strings on me.

The fine print.

Warning:  Don't believe everything you read.

More here than meets the eye.

Unforgettable.

Suddenly, he's allergic to peanuts.

Some cartoonists have no scruples.

Animal Farm.

 No one seems to ask for Thomas More's Utopia.

Or even Plato's Atlantis.

Not for the faint of heart.

 Trying to scare him to death or merely witless?

No need to be cruel.

Like a house afire.

In flames and soon to be a smoking ruin.

Fine and Dandy Geriatricians.

The cat's pajamas.

 But how they made a cat into pajamas I'll never know.

Tech is always a mystery.

Your own worst enemy.

 It's an open casting call for Worst Enemy.

Exactly like marriage.

No more horsing around.

 That's a horse of a different color.

As in The Wizard of Oz.

Small Business Administration.

 And they each get a W-2 to prove it.

There is generous profit-sharing.

No pain, no gain.

 Answering the ages-old question, cui bono?

Jingleism at its best.

Anonymous source.

 Not for attribution, on background only.

Boilerplate non-denial denial.