Thursday, October 31, 2013

This call may be monitored for quality control.

Just a suggestion, but perhaps Lucretia should use her cell phone.

Don't use the phone to report a phone problem.

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Monday, October 28, 2013

Oxford comma.

Maybe he should not eat the chili.

Or possibly the problem is with the colon.

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Friday, October 25, 2013

Bottomline is profits.

More sales means more profits means higher stock prices.

Even a fraction makes a difference when multiplied by a million.

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Good girl.

Swat her on the nose with a rolled-up magazine.

Cynthia has a career as the dog whisperer.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

T42 & 24T.

Is that your'n?

It's not Mayan.
Actually, Clyde's Number Two is Number One.

Monday, October 21, 2013

Putting the Barney in Smith-Barney.

John Housman would be proud.

It's the paperless office chase all over again.

Sunday, October 20, 2013

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Reply All.

It could be more dangerous.

They could hit Reply All.

Friday, October 18, 2013

Penny pinching.

I'll get you, my pretty.

And your little dog, too.

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Look before you leak.

It must be in Britain.

Because Americans don't queue: they form a line.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

We're going to need a bigger boat.

And then there can be water-skiing.

So that mourners can jump the shark.

Monday, October 14, 2013

Sunday, October 13, 2013

Earthy humor.

Wash out your dirty mouth.

That's why they make Orbit gum.

Saturday, October 12, 2013

Auntie Bellum.

They could never get together with Auntie Coagulant.

Look out for Auntie Maim.

Friday, October 11, 2013

Take my wife, please.

It's not as though the new material is any better.

That'll do it every time.

Thursday, October 10, 2013

It's a poor workman.

Okay, how did that saw fit into that toolbox?

And painting a saw also renders it useless.

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Hee Haw.

An example of ESP at work.

Pin the tail.

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Monday, October 7, 2013


There might possibly be an element of fraud.

Never look a gift award in the mouth.

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Gold Medal for Quality in Publicity.

You can buy public relations, however.

Best of Show-ing up for the award.

Saturday, October 5, 2013

Friday, October 4, 2013

Hair of the dog.

The aliens served a mean mixed drink.

It's called an Alien Abduction.

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Beakman's World.

Does that imply that the biologist a bird brain?

There's a pecking order.

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

The Riot Act.

Cynthia's a real riot.

A laff riot.

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Tiddly Diddly Flanders.

Perhaps because they aren't normal.

They're going to fly around anyway.