Tuesday, July 31, 2012

The Meme Generation.

If it spreads virally, then it usually is mean.

It's the cat's pajamas.
Meme, another word for stupid.

Monday, July 30, 2012

Hu's on first.

What's on second.

Ida Noe's on third.

Sunday, July 29, 2012

It's Howdy Doody Time.

Hey, Kids, it's Buffalo Bob.

Let's give a rousing cheer.
'Cause Howdy Doody's here.

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Chocolate Egg Cream.

Just try explaining why there is no egg in an egg cream.

Nor any cream.
Or why every carbonated soda in some places is a "coke," even when it's a Pepsi or Dr. Pepper.

Friday, July 27, 2012

All Polluxed up.

Well, of course, he wouldn't now.
Double your pleasure. Double your fun.
And they weren't even dead.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Cyber nanny.

There is nothing worse than being followed by your step-mother.

The modern definition of Evil Stepmother.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Bo knows.

Dogs can sniff out a Cyborg.

Now, the alien life form on Trump's head, that we need to investigate.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Low-flow humor.

If he spends too much time in the bathroom, it must be because he's a four-flusher.

It's those darned low-flow toilets.

Monday, July 23, 2012

Remember the Maine.

And the only state in which "yes" is two syllables.

And the only two-female-Senator state.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Well, that's ironic.

Sounds like a great idea, except for when it falls on Opposite Day.

If you can fake sincerity, you got it made.

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Crowning achievement.

That isn't at all desperate.

It's just the flop sweat that makes it seem as though it is.

Friday, July 20, 2012

Go where fashion sits.

France surrenders.

Is that the road company of Young Frankenstein?
Puttin' on the Ritz.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Grand larcency.

I got plenty of nothing.

Barney's Value judgment.

Your prime suspect is that smug guy sitting on the bench.
 Barney has discovered Relativity.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

What's that I smell?

In Barney's defense, they are Mom and Pop Farben.

They were asking for it.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Bad example.

O' the shame of it all. Hanging with the wrong crowd can lead to all sorts of dangerous behavior.

Turning over a new leaf just means you see the underbelly.
Or, in the words of Josef Stalin, if you lie down with dogs, you must expect to get up with fleas.

Monday, July 16, 2012

Mr. Softee.

If you had a truck with a loudspeaker, then that would be different.

Good enough to eat.
If anybody follows Gene and Fake Gene on Twitter, or has read the Below the Beltway column published in The Washington Post on Sunday, July 15, 2012, this is for you.

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Take two antacids and call me in the morning.

It's not conscience. It's probably just indigestion.
Swallowing a company in one bite will do that.

Old saying: "Conscience is like last night's indigestion. Both will vanish in the morning."

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Vet's Day.

She's also a Vet, so November 11 is her special day.

Who's been eating my porridge?

Friday, July 13, 2012

Goodbye, gruel world.

Great green gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts. Mutilated monkey meat.

Presentation is at least half the experience.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Ditto purple.

Now, if he mentions Ditto machones, then he is really old.

The smell of duplicity.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

I don't do Windows.

Let me Czech on that. The Prague frog.

Throw caution right out the window.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Why did the Gallus gallus domesticus ambulate across the throughfare?

In order to attain the opposing lateral border.

Larry's jokes are all shaggy dog stories.

Monday, July 9, 2012

Take me out to the ball game.

The fraud comes with fan internet voting.

Chooch Ruiz is the best player in either league, and he didn't get a starting place.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

TOS not Star Trek related.

Then he must know that he now is owned by Facebook.

He probably throws out everything on its expiration date, too.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Sense of a new born kitten.

You might want to add a sense of imminent homework assignment.

And a sense of humor.
Sense of self-preservation. Sense of pushing your luck.

Friday, July 6, 2012

A little song, a little dance.

A little seltzer down your pants. -- Chuckles Bites the Dust.

I would have guessed that the sillybus was the formal name for the clown car.

I suppose that the whipped cream pie in the face is the sillybub.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Gerald McBoing Boing.

If Grandpa Eb was a kid in 1950, then he can't be as old as he pretends.

Now, if he said Steamboat Willie, I would think that he was too old.
Gerald was the child of Dr. Seuss. That makes him better than South Park already.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Hither, thither, hence, thence and yon.

Wherefore art thou Earnest?

Knaves and varlets all over the place.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Getting to the nub of the matter.

Long "s" to the refcue.

Making an aſs of yourself. Terminal "s" is usually plain.

Monday, July 2, 2012

Your call is very important to us.

To reach a human, press zero...

which sums up how important your call is to us.

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Happy Indie Day.

It took John Hancock two days to sign.

What's a day or two between Englishmen?