Sunday, March 31, 2013

It is April 1.

She didn't specify which Mr. Buffett.

That's better than a banana peel.

Saturday, March 30, 2013

Modesty should be publibly acknowledged.

Philanthropy is best when done anonymously, more or less.

Any resemblance to Anonymous is purely accidental.

Friday, March 29, 2013

Hecho en Mexico.

There is the slightest chance that a misunderstanding could arise.

It's all in the spit take.

Thursday, March 28, 2013


It's good to have regular habits.

Or he could just set the sleep timer.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

My hovercraft is full of eels.

That droning you hear is the sound of a Predator.

If you are going to take everything literally...

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Monday, March 25, 2013

Sunday, March 24, 2013

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Daughter of Lucretius.

The last king of Rome, L. Tarquinius Superbus.

Just don't mention Lucretia Borgia.

Friday, March 22, 2013

Yankee clipper.

Considering the general health of the Yanks, that is actually conceivable.

At least shortstop, anyway.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Sixteen tons.

Or Big Bad Barney, as the case may be.

I think that the soul-owning thing is going a little too far.

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Monday, March 18, 2013

Sunday, March 17, 2013


Nothing wrong with George Wendt.

They are talking about a Cheers reunion, aren't they?

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Friday, March 15, 2013

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Hannibal and Clarice.

Well, who else would be eating Al Fresco?

Is he a mural painter?

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Real TV.

I blame A.C. Neilsen.

If nobody knows you are watching, are you really watching?

Monday, March 11, 2013

Sunday, March 10, 2013

The Trojan parrot.

Beware of geeks bearing gifts.

Is it live, or is it Memorex?
Polly want to take dictation?

Friday, March 8, 2013

Columbo's minimal information problem.

As told to Lt. Columbo by Theodore Bikel.

You have bags of gold coins, any number that you wish. Each bag has the same number coins, however many you wish. One bag contains only counterfeit coins. The counterfeit coins either weigh less than the gold coins or more, whichever you wish. You have only a scale to use to find out which bag contains the counterfeit coins. The scale is operated by inserting a penny, and you have just one penny. How do you find the counterfeit coins with only a single weighing?

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Cyber Warriors, Inc.

Go right to the source for the best protection.

I think I see a problem.

No-man's land.

It pays to be disagreeable.

Know when to say no.

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Mr. Peepers.

Wally Cox would be the perfect person to install it.

The clenched fist gives it away.

Monday, March 4, 2013

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Easy as pi.

There might be an irrational in there.

Something doesn't add up.

Saturday, March 2, 2013


Just add beer.

Not sure what the N.R.A. would mean in slug language.

Friday, March 1, 2013