Sunday, December 31, 2017

Saturday, December 30, 2017

Windfall.

It's an ill wind that blows nobody any good.

Always look on the bright side.

Friday, December 29, 2017

Indulge me.

Indulgences are what got the Pope in trouble with Martin Luther.
But not in the same way.



Thursday, December 28, 2017

In the words of the song.

It's the paper diet.
Now, if you want to throw a dollar across the Delaware...



Wednesday, December 27, 2017

Why is it...?

The only permanent press still around.
Somebody misplaced his glasses.



Tuesday, December 26, 2017

Potato famine.

The blight will get them however you pronounce them.
Idaho or Yukon Gold.



Monday, December 25, 2017

A penny saved is a penny that can be embezzled.

"The art of getting riches consists very much in thrift." -- Ben Franklin.
Or stealing and fencing, as the case may be.



Sunday, December 24, 2017

Saturday, December 23, 2017

Scrooged.

In the words of Tiny Tim...

Tiptoe through the tulips.
Merry Christmas.

Friday, December 22, 2017

New tricks.

The lowest form of humor is the phone.
Dog gone.



Thursday, December 21, 2017

The joker's wild.

Or it could just be you.
Too much of a good thing?



Wednesday, December 20, 2017

Party, party.

Some of them go as purse accessories.
More fashionable than chihuahuas.



Tuesday, December 19, 2017

North By Northwest.

Like Hamlet, he is only mad north-northwest.
Next stop, Mount Rushmore.



Monday, December 18, 2017

We're Number One.

Will there be any bowl games?
Is it in Flushing?


Sunday, December 17, 2017

Saturday, December 16, 2017

Who's on first?

Hey, Abbott !
Abbott & Costello Meet the Pillsbury Man.



Friday, December 15, 2017

You'll wonder where the yellow went.

Let a smile be your...?

 Smile when your heart is breaking.



Thursday, December 14, 2017

Blood from a stone.

Works only in amber.
Someone should write a book about that.



Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Tuesday, December 12, 2017

Monday, December 11, 2017

Sunday, December 10, 2017

Penny for your thoughts.

Must have been a Lincoln cent.
Factoring in the rate of inflation...


Saturday, December 9, 2017

Ready, aim, quest for fire.

Putting things in the proper perspective.
Water and fire don't mix, but water and humor do.



Friday, December 8, 2017

Thursday, December 7, 2017

On autopilot.

She's the self-driving car of mayhem.
Going by sheer instinct.



Wednesday, December 6, 2017

Tuesday, December 5, 2017

TMI.

Not Three Mile Island.
Gilda is in there somewhere.



Monday, December 4, 2017

This is an EAS test.

There's a channel for every interest.
Postcards from the fringe.



Sunday, December 3, 2017

Cost of doing business.

It's the l'esprit de l'escalier.
Too late now.


Saturday, December 2, 2017

Priceless.

You can't put a price on romance.
Getting in the mood.



Friday, December 1, 2017