In the aether.

 Any resemblance to a real comic strip creator is accidental.

Her humors are out of balance.

Human sacrifice.

 And we all know what happens to lab rats.

They get their own animated cartoon.

The golden opportunity.

 A captive audience is the best cure for a headache.

So much better than a Get Well card.

His master's voice.

 The little nipper is used to rolling over.

Don't play dead, whatever you do.

The green-eyed monster.

 He'll sue for alienation of affection !

Better her than him.

Me and my baby.

 Baby needs a new set of tires.

There are some forms to fill out.

In the event of accident.

 The other parts are up for grabs.

Being of sound mind and body...allegedly.

Give me a lever.

 And a fulcrum, and you can move the Earth.

Moving Congress is a lot harder.

The lost art.

 Conversation is quickly going the way of longhand cursive.

Replaced by text.

A fool and his money.

 Trash to treasure is a time-honored concept.

Today's blue plate special is a blue plate.

Hair trigger.

 They make a pill for going off half-cocked now.

But he had the quick draw.

An all-time record.

 That deserves a memorial bench at the Baseball Hall of Fame.

We shall never see his like again.

Pencil pushers local.

 The civil service is not treated very civilly.

Keeping the ship of state sailing.

In theory.

 A mere drop in the hypothetical ocean.

Don't let it tax your brain.

The romance is gone.

 Marriage, where Romance goes to die.

It was infatuation.

Full of hot air.

 An asinine unwillingness to move is a trait of one of those animals.

And of the jackass, too.

Tear jerker.

 Let that be a lesson, even evil stepmothers have feelings.

It's a bit late to apologize now.

Stuffed shirt.

 That will take the starch out of her.

Tie-dyeing went out with the 1970s.

A rose is a rose.

Love or delusion, the result is all the same.

By any other name, smells the same.

A beautiful mind.

 Let me count the ways.

Counting being his strong suit.

A money-splendored thing.

 And his diverse investments don't hurt any.

There are billions of reasons.

First love.

 A childhood crush that lingers until the end.

Moonbeam McSwine vs. Daisy Mae.

Ambience aplenty.

 Icky doody is Howdy's little-known brother.

Try the Buffalo Bob wings.

Yes. we have no bananas.

 I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts.

Lucky they didn't have a bowl of Candy.

There is no such things as free verse.

Some call it vers libre.

 Without rhyme or reason.

Fore !

 He's hit into the penalty area.

Best answer is to turn off the TV.

An uphill battle.

 The downside is beginning to look too familiar.

It's only a crisis if it happens to you.

The matchless girl.

 Good thing she didn't ask for more.

What the Dickens?

The Fourth Dimension.

 It's a taxing situation in which to find oneself.

A tall order.

It runs in the family.

 He's the blah sheep of the extended family.

No respect for traditions.

The last word.

 It's only funny when it's the last word.

Or in the last sentence.