Monday, December 31, 2018

The hangover.

What if the whole year is one long hangover?
We're going to need a bigger broom.

Saturday, December 29, 2018

Friday, December 28, 2018

In bad company.

Alone has been defined as in bad company.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devils Dictionary.

Thursday, December 27, 2018

Wednesday, December 26, 2018

Tuesday, December 25, 2018

Monday, December 24, 2018

Ho Ho Ho.

Matching long johns. What could be more festive?
He just phoned it in.

Sunday, December 23, 2018

Too late smart.

Waiting until the last minute won't help.
He knows if you've been bad or good. It's a perjury trap.



Saturday, December 22, 2018

It happened one night.

Mr. Poopy Pants is not laughing. Howdy Doody time.


Does it matter now? It depends.

Friday, December 21, 2018

The skin game.

Clyde is like a burrowing insect. The sand flea.
And just as hard to get rid of.



Thursday, December 20, 2018

All the best people.

They have the right stuff. They were expendable.
It worked well for Eddie Murphy.



Wednesday, December 19, 2018

Ongoing vocabulary jargonization and purpose obfuscation.

I believe it was Thoreau who said "reduce the complications through prudent pruning of excess verbiage, reduce the complications through prudent pruning of excess verbiage."

 Or possibly, "Simplify, simplify."

Tuesday, December 18, 2018

Yelp yourself.

He yelps those who yelp themselves.

A little rating between friends.

Monday, December 17, 2018

A cluck above the rest.

That will put Trent in the hen house when his boss sees it.
He will feel like a dumb cluck.



Sunday, December 16, 2018

Heaping piles of news.

That might be considered an opinion.

True, but still an opinion.

Saturday, December 15, 2018

Survivor's guilt.

He's won the tontine. Last man standing.
Everyone else was voted off the island.


Friday, December 14, 2018

Wilkie Collins' Revenge.

Count Fosco will never be the same after this.

Nor Marian.
Not that the movie with Eleanor Parker, Gig Young, Alexis Smith and Sydney Greenstreet was more faithful. Greenstreet was perfect as Fosco, but otherwise...

Thursday, December 13, 2018

Wednesday, December 12, 2018

Tuesday, December 11, 2018

Monday, December 10, 2018

Sunday, December 9, 2018

Saturday, December 8, 2018

O' Lordy.

Barney is one of those who helps himself.
He helps himself to whatever is available.


Friday, December 7, 2018

Thursday, December 6, 2018

Wednesday, December 5, 2018

Indulgences sold in the gift shop.

Doesn't have a prayer. Or a snowball's chance.
Next handbarrow leaving in fifteen minutes.



Tuesday, December 4, 2018

My little runaway.

Del Shannon not Kanye. Or possibly Thelma and Louise.
I wonder what went wrong. Rub, run, run.


Monday, December 3, 2018

Sunday, December 2, 2018

Saturday, December 1, 2018

I swear by Ascpeius.

First, do no harm. Second, do no good.
And don't forget to get paid.

Friday, November 30, 2018

Thursday, November 29, 2018

A pronounced squint.

Next time print. Or get a new prescription for your glasses.
My mind's eye is bloodshot.



Wednesday, November 28, 2018

Cold fusion.

Try a little jazz fusion while you are at it. When you forgot the recipe.
It's all chemistry.



Tuesday, November 27, 2018

Monday, November 26, 2018

The Wire.

Parabolic microphones work well. Ask Gene Hackman.
The Conversation proves that you can't be too careful.



Sunday, November 25, 2018

Saturday, November 24, 2018

Dayful of Song.

There's an app for that, Socrates. Taking stock.
We have advanced so far.

Friday, November 23, 2018

Thursday, November 22, 2018

Wednesday, November 21, 2018

Tuesday, November 20, 2018

Monday, November 19, 2018

This space for rent.

Campaign signs are just another type of For Sale sign.
Location, location, gerrymander.


Sunday, November 18, 2018

Saturday, November 17, 2018

Friday, November 16, 2018

Thursday, November 15, 2018

Wednesday, November 14, 2018

Drive.

Better than commenting on the internet.
But not anonymous. Period, full stop.



Tuesday, November 13, 2018

Leverage.

Equity to pry money out of a bank.
You can't eat a buyout.


Monday, November 12, 2018

What's my line?

Who does he think he is, anyway?
There's a kind of insurance for that.