Friday, December 15, 2017

You'll wonder where the yellow went.

Let a smile be your...?

 Smile when your heart is breaking.



Thursday, December 14, 2017

Blood from a stone.

Works only in amber.
Someone should write a book about that.



Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Tuesday, December 12, 2017

Friends, Romans, Countrymen.

I come to Pillsbury, not to praise.
You might need a JD for the trial.



Monday, December 11, 2017

Sunday, December 10, 2017

Penny for your thoughts.

Must have been a Lincoln cent.
Factoring in the rate of inflation...


Saturday, December 9, 2017

Ready, aim, quest for fire.

Putting things in the proper perspective.
Water and fire don't mix, but water and humor do.



Friday, December 8, 2017

Thursday, December 7, 2017

On autopilot.

She's the self-driving car of mayhem.
Going by sheer instinct.



Wednesday, December 6, 2017

Tuesday, December 5, 2017

TMI.

Not Three Mile Island.
Gilda is in there somewhere.



Monday, December 4, 2017

This is an EAS test.

There's a channel for every interest.
Postcards from the fringe.



Sunday, December 3, 2017

Cost of doing business.

It's the l'esprit de l'escalier.
Too late now.


Saturday, December 2, 2017

Priceless.

You can't put a price on romance.
Getting in the mood.



Friday, December 1, 2017

Thursday, November 30, 2017

Pet Sounds.

Pancho wants the spread.
Live long and prosper.



Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Tweet free or die.

Is that one of the kids from Family Circus?
All the king's horses and all the king's men...



Tuesday, November 28, 2017

Windows the last generation.

Step out on the ledge to enjoy the view down.
Don't jump to conclusions, Just jump.



Monday, November 27, 2017

Augmented reality.

It was probably a suicide.
That was the highest drop available.



Sunday, November 26, 2017

Saturday, November 25, 2017

Let's do the twist.

Rubber babies' baby rubbers.

The rubber barons are robber barons in Brazil.

Friday, November 24, 2017

The hydra effect.

Cut off one and two grow back.
Real or not, here they come.



Thursday, November 23, 2017

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

With all the fixings.

At least the turkey is having a happy thanksgiving.
It only has to make it past Christmas.



Tuesday, November 21, 2017

The Practice.

It ain't funny, McGee.
Speaking of old jokes, that is Fibber McGee and Molly.



Monday, November 20, 2017

Purple Rain.

You never know what you might learn.
It's not Under the Cherry Moon.



Sunday, November 19, 2017

Saturday, November 18, 2017

Bare necessities.

Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity.
Redundant, redundant, redundant.

Friday, November 17, 2017

Taking whoopee.

That's what you get folks...

For making whoopee. Not to be confused with the pie or the cushion.

Thursday, November 16, 2017

Accidents will happen.

Slapstick movies have already been discovered.
But you never know...



Wednesday, November 15, 2017

That's what we do.

Flo would be there for you, too.
It always works in the commercials.



Tuesday, November 14, 2017

Trump the magazine.

It went bankrupt, too.
Then he left when the prediction came true.



Monday, November 13, 2017

The nanny.

Fran Drescher refused the job.
And Julie Andrews was too busy.



Sunday, November 12, 2017

Saturday, November 11, 2017

Friday, November 10, 2017

Thursday, November 9, 2017

101 uses.

Standing in the way of progress.
Influential journalism is never easy.


Wednesday, November 8, 2017

Heigh-ho.

It happens to Sneezy all the time.
Just ask the other six dwarfs.


Tuesday, November 7, 2017

The Leo McKern tribute strip.

He's not wrong. Reality is a flexible concept.
Ms. Foxx, the Portia of their chambers.



Monday, November 6, 2017

Knee bone's connected to the dissent.

Taken to it's logical conclusion.
Exercising her right to not exercise her right.



Sunday, November 5, 2017

Allegedly funny.

You will be out on a ledge by yourself.
Just some friendly advice on retainer.



Saturday, November 4, 2017

Paging John Hurt...

What else did it insert?
I think they might be working for an Alien.



Friday, November 3, 2017

Thursday, November 2, 2017

Temper, temper.

There's a lot of that nickel sulfide impurity going around.
Lucretia does a good job controlling her temper.



Wednesday, November 1, 2017

First serialization rights.

She's lucky she doesn't get the kill fee.
It must be cheap fiction.



Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Monday, October 30, 2017

Silence of the hams.

There goes another census taker.
With a nice chianti.



Sunday, October 29, 2017

Bend over backwards.

Being a contortionist has advantages.
Let's do the twist.



Saturday, October 28, 2017

What's eating you, sunshine?

Bipolar is the other explanation.
That's why tanning beds were invented.



Friday, October 27, 2017

Not affiliated with any government agency.

Any similarity to an official governemt site is intentional.
The word gullible isn't in the dictionary, is one joke seniors have heard.