Dedicated to the comic strip by Weingarten and Clark.
The ground rules for a successful marriage.
She agrees that he is very perceptive.
She never even bated her breath in anticipation.
Sculptors sometime heave a bas-relief.
Has it really been a year...
Since the syndicate changed?
Next time, try 21st Century medium, texting.
And yet, somehow, she got the message.
One small step for a woman...
One giant leap for analysis.
Do not even think of asking.
The very last place you want to go.
Swapping one type of highway robbery...
For another type of highway robbery.
Love means never having to eat...
Squid in ink sauce.
Because there are more beans than pigs in the world.
Beans are easier to catch.
She is rich enough to set up a trust fund...
For his survivors.
He likes his job so much...
That he does it for free.
They must be traveling at nearly the speed of light...
To have aged so little.
In the immortal words of Henry Higgins...
"Why can't a woman be more like a man?"
Happy Tax Day. Many happy returns.
Please do not do us any favors.
When the time comes...
Cars will all be autonomous.
Share and share alike.
It's a class act.
You would prefer mesdames, missy?
Usually, just misses, unmarried.
Crackpot tested, crackpot approved.
The out of focus group.
Named for Wednesday Addams, of course.
We still thank goodness it's Friday.
In the words of Dr. Samuel Johnson...
He has a "bottom of good sense."
AKA The Great Eclipse.
Cancel culture strikes again.
Lights. Camera. Action!
Put a little drama in your life.
Definitely NOT the fearless vampire hunter.
Look out for that eclipse.
What you lose on the roundabout...
You make up on the swings.
That would be a violation of the Third Law of Robotics.
Or that's what you want me to think that you want.
In the immortal words of Monty Python...
Always look on the bright side.
He will have whatever she is on.
Happy talk is their most important product.
Is that a joke I see behind you?
Nobody's fool.
If that's the Eggman, where's the walrus?
And that Easter bonnet is no prize winner.
Get them while they're hot.
Loose the hounds.
So-called after a restaurant chain?
You can't have Easter without it.
Taylor must be Tom's younger brother.
Someone involved in football?
But on the other hand she has...
Really poor taste in men.
He once shot a mammoth in his pajamas.
How it got into his pajamas he'll never know.
The usage is only slightly ambiguous.
Tools are meant to be useful. That tool is not.
What, you thought that...
There was only the one Adolf?
Picking up the check can cause a muscle strain.
He always forgets his wallet.
It is on the up and up...and away !
Like Tinkerbell, you have to believe.
If you wish upon a star...
Something's coming, sooner or later.
A phantom drug for hypochondriacs.
Tale once a day for whatever.
The toilet, of course.
Or the dog house.
Anne Boleyn deserves pride of place.
And the Headless Horseman is a special case.
A case of repurposing.
Use a bowl of Lucky Charms as bait.
Better than real, and cheaper to maintain.
Just do not look at the hands.
Good thing it's a dog.
Otherwise, he would need a CAT scan.
He would prefer not to be a Rear Admiral.
He gets seasick.
The better name would be Breakings.
All news now is Breaking.
How do you bear it all?
Paper over our differences.
He was hired sight unseen.
Would never be able to look himself in the eye again.
Go for a joyride in Apollo's chariot while you are at it.
Isn't Daylight Saving nonsensical enough?