The Uncertainty Principle.

It's like a Bob Newhart sketch.

Entirely plausible on both ends.

VTOL.

You should see him at work.

Micromanaging is his executive style.

Morphyism.

Judging by Paul Morphy and Bobby Fischer...

Chesterton might have had a point.

Dreamboat.

And if his other dogs had had buttons,

They could have talked, too.

Lead balloon.

And now we know that Barney is an Animist.

Everything has feelings.

Wassup?

It could be worse. It could have been "J. Barnard."

A Rose is a Rose is a Rose.

Breaking News.

One way of making news.

Headlines however you slice it.