The real deal.

Reality is a crutch.

Coping is such sweet sorrow.

Eaten up.

The unspeakable in pursuit of the uneatble.

That is hard to swallow.

He's got personality.

That is what they call precocity.

Wait until he gets adult diapers.

The Sound of Silence.

Cue Simon and Garfunkel.

Hello Darkness, my old friend.

The Name Game.

Pillsbury Building, Pillsbury Stadium, Pillsbury Plaza, etc....

He might as well put his name on the City.

Parental guidance suggested.

Some children can be such a disappointment.

And she wrote the handbook on parenthood.

Fore!

Now he can drive all around the subdivision.

No license needed.

Robots vs. Humans.

The score is Robots 1, Humans 0.

Advantage Robots.

His Owned Man.

Must be very frustrating to be legal.

He just longs to be a business version of David Farragut.

Autosuggestion.

In the words of the the ancient proverb...

"The Lord helps those who help themselves."

Populism.

Hatred is a commodity nowadays.

And the supply seems endless.

Year of the Hoarse.

Is that a regular year or.a Leap Year?

A lot of talking in Three Hundred Sixty-Five Tuesdays.

The detour.

Sometimes a premonition is just a premonition.

She's Jung at heart.

Something a-Ms.

We have reached retcon-2.

Stories change backward until boggles the mind.

Taffi pull.

Rose is a rose is a rose.

Taffi is tough. She has brothers too.

The inner drive.

Luckily, he could blame it all on self-drive.

The inattention span.

Shocks not shots.

If you think about it, no cleanup is a plus.

And no vet bills is another positive.

The Dynamic Duo.

The topless towers of Ileum?

That's so jejune.

Sticktoitiveness.

The union's pension plan is really good.

Masochism is a requirement.

Small minded.

The best cure for insecurity to be a bully.

Or find something to put his name on.

Muted response.

Somewhere the ghost of HAL 9000 is smiling.

The Last Laugh.

Departures.

The "Dear Departed" will be sorely missed.

"We'll meet again, don't know where, don't know when."

Business plan.

His proposal met with her counterproposal.

He got more than he bargained for, all right.

Pennies from Heaven.

Sometimes you just get a bonus.

File under the heading "Rubbing It In."

Let me count the ways.

One exception being buttering up.

Self-preservation being another.

That does not compute.

The Master/Slave computer organizational model.

Which is the Master and which the Slave?

Complaint Department.

That is what is known as a "trade secret."

Among many "factors," a source inside the company confirmed

In the long run.

Short term, yes, you might need to do that.

Or just forget about it.

The Uncertainty Principle.

It's like a Bob Newhart sketch.

Entirely plausible on both ends.

VTOL.

You should see him at work.

Micromanaging is his executive style.

Morphyism.

Judging by Paul Morphy and Bobby Fischer...

Chesterton might have had a point.

Dreamboat.

And if his other dogs had had buttons,

They could have talked, too.

Lead balloon.

And now we know that Barney is an Animist.

Everything has feelings.

Wassup?

It could be worse. It could have been "J. Barnard."

A Rose is a Rose is a Rose.

Breaking News.

One way of making news.

Headlines however you slice it.

Bill Murray Day.

Thank you Industrial Age for Climate Change.

Snow flurries in Florida.

A new beginning.

A journey of a thousand miles...

You have to start somewhere.

The Month of Grim.

January, the Two-Faced month.

It ain't over until it's over.

The question of the day.

You pay your money, and you take your choice.

Business as unusual.

Pay-to-Play.

At the very least, it is honest.

Get your endorphins by prescription.

Wonderfalls.

"I like to go a-wondering."

Wondering as industry standard.

Cloak of Invisibility.

Nothing to hide is nothing to flaunt.

Conditional statements can get very involved.

The name game.

Mr. Crunchy is a distant relation...

Of Captain Crunch.

Center of the Universe.

True, he does not believe in geocentrism.

He believes in egocentrism.

Racy.

In another life of which they know nothing.

He and James Garner and Paul Newman.

Pathfinder and Company.

You can also bet that his 4-wheel drive...

Has a name that might have come from Fenimore Cooper.

Motheaten.

Camphor grows on trees.

Old Man Smell: Musty or Old Spice?

Blasted.

Li'l Abner's comic strip hero.

Shot full,  two-dimensional Dick Tracy.

Double standard.

AI can be the source of both...

Problems and problem scapegoating.

When it counts.

Fingers and toes say the same thing.

It all adds up to a Dad Joke.