No fooling.

 Is that a joke I see behind you?

Nobody's fool.

The Eggman Cometh.

 If that's the Eggman, where's the walrus?

And that Easter bonnet is no prize winner.

Jumping the gun.

 Get them while they're hot.

Loose the hounds.

T.G.I.

 So-called after a restaurant chain?

You can't have Easter without it.

Not too Swift.

 Taylor must be Tom's younger brother.

Someone involved in football?

A league of her own.

 But on the other hand she has...

Really poor taste in men.

Hooray for Captain Spaulding!

 He once shot a mammoth in his pajamas.

How it got into his pajamas he'll never know.

Tool Time.

 The usage is only slightly ambiguous.

Tools are meant to be useful. That tool is not.

What's in a name?

 What, you thought that...

There was only the one Adolf?

Leaves a bad taste.

 Picking up the check can cause a muscle strain.

He always forgets his wallet.

A bad case of the vapors.

 It is on the up and up...and away !

Like Tinkerbell, you have to believe.

Hope springs eternal.

 If you wish upon a star...

Something's coming, sooner or later.

Nobody knows the trouble.

 A phantom drug for hypochondriacs.

Tale once a day for whatever.

That dog won't hunt.

 The toilet, of course.

Or the dog house.

How to get a head.

 Anne Boleyn deserves pride of place.

And the Headless Horseman is a special case.

Eirinn go brach.

 A case of repurposing.

Use a bowl of Lucky Charms as bait.

The ideal family.

 Better than real, and cheaper to maintain.

Just do not look at the hands.

Lazy bones.

 Good thing it's a dog.

Otherwise, he would need a CAT scan.

Self-promoting.

 He would prefer not to be a Rear Admiral.

He gets seasick.

Extry, Extry, Read All About It.

 The better name would be Breakings.

All news now is Breaking.

It's wall-to-wall in here.

 How do you bear it all?

Paper over our differences.

Looking for naught.

 He was hired sight unseen.

Would never be able to look himself in the eye again.

Lighter-than-airhead.

 Go for a joyride in Apollo's chariot while you are at it.

Isn't Daylight Saving nonsensical enough?

Black box warning.

 Imagine the cost if it were an anti-vertigo drug.

Reading the label can make you sick.

Boxed in.

 Truth in advertising suggests otherwise.

All perfectly legal.

Picture this.

 And he tried several different drug stores.

That's why they invented Fotomat.

The world turned upside down.

 One of the original highwaymen.

This is a stick-up, and not the air freshener kind.

Of mice and men.

 It's a small world after all.

Mice can afford shoes?

Kick the can.

 Bad jokes r us.

Difficult to choose between them.

The price of everything.

Many times he sees Euros.

And since Brexit, he also can see Pounds £.

Tempus fugettaboutit.

 To make this worse, he's running a marathon.

Cause and effect?