HAPPY NEW YEAR 2018.

too loud?

A little green around the gills.

Windfall.

It's an ill wind that blows nobody any good.

Always look on the bright side.

Indulge me.

Indulgences are what got the Pope in trouble with Martin Luther.

But not in the same way.

In the words of the song.

It's the paper diet.

Now, if you want to throw a dollar across the Delaware...

Why is it...?

The only permanent press still around.

Somebody misplaced his glasses.

Potato famine.

The blight will get them however you pronounce them.

Idaho or Yukon Gold.

A penny saved is a penny that can be embezzled.

"The art of getting riches consists very much in thrift." -- Ben Franklin.

Or stealing and fencing, as the case may be.

Don't monkey around.

Make a monkey out of him.

Or he'll be a monkey's uncle.

Scrooged.

In the words of Tiny Tim...

Tiptoe through the tulips.
Merry Christmas.

New tricks.

The lowest form of humor is the phone.

Dog gone.

The joker's wild.

Or it could just be you.

Too much of a good thing?

Party, party.

Some of them go as purse accessories.

More fashionable than chihuahuas.

North By Northwest.

Like Hamlet, he is only mad north-northwest.

Next stop, Mount Rushmore.

We're Number One.

Will there be any bowl games?

Is it in Flushing?

CSI: Pillsbury.

Sleep with one eye open.

Too much television will do that.

Who's on first?

Hey, Abbott !

Abbott & Costello Meet the Pillsbury Man.

You'll wonder where the yellow went.

Let a smile be your...?

 Smile when your heart is breaking.

Blood from a stone.

Works only in amber.

Someone should write a book about that.

Do the right thing.

Best to remain anonymous.

Too good to be true.

Friends, Romans, Countrymen.

I come to Pillsbury, not to praise.

You might need a JD for the trial.

A pottle and a peck.

The long and winding road through her mind.

A couple of quarts low.

Penny for your thoughts.

Must have been a Lincoln cent.

Factoring in the rate of inflation...

Ready, aim, quest for fire.

Putting things in the proper perspective.

Water and fire don't mix, but water and humor do.

Case in point.

They don't make them like they used to.

Drop everything.

On autopilot.

She's the self-driving car of mayhem.

Going by sheer instinct.

How do you know when he's lying?

He's breathing.

We need higher math for the numbers.

TMI.

Not Three Mile Island.

Gilda is in there somewhere.

This is an EAS test.

There's a channel for every interest.

Postcards from the fringe.

Cost of doing business.

It's the l'esprit de l'escalier.

Too late now.

Priceless.

You can't put a price on romance.

Getting in the mood.

What a day for a day gream.

It's the Lovin' Spoonful.

Dreamin' about my bundle of joy.