Lucky charm.

The pencil is never wrong.

But the operator often is.

Touching BASE.

That would be off BASE.

Double indemnity.

Crackling good.

Knee joint connected to the sound effect machine.

Maybe he could work for the DEA.

Nothing but the truth.

The operative word is "effective."

Could have fooled me.

The Last Unicorn.

Worth a billion, hypothetically.

Marches to a different definition of fun.

Sweet charity.

Let's not do anything rash.

That's just cruel.

COLA.

Somebody has to pay the cost of living.

And dying isn't cheap, either.

No such thing.

As bad publicity.

A big name in the business.

Be cool.

How about Reddi Whip?

Close call. Good thing she's company.

Another riotous take.

Better than the Atticus Finch joke?

If you are old enough to remember, you are old enough to have shingles.

The Invisible Man.

Claude Rains could give him a few tips.

And how does the green hair argument end?

May I make a suggestion?

You are getting sleepy.

They are especially suggestible if the boss says so.

The Life of Samuel Johnson, LL.D.

At least there was never a traumatizing sequel.

Maybe Terry Southern is more to her liking.

Accidenatlly on purpose.

That should be Alexander Fleming.

Other than that, the spork is not an accident, it just looks like one.

Being of sound mind.

Where there's a will, there's a lawyer.

He's figured out a way to take it with him.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

I believe Aretha said it best.

Or he needs a new opening line.

Serenity prayer.

Whatever brings you inner peace.

The greatest happiness for the greatest number one.

The grumble in the rumble.

Or you could read the list of ingredients.

If it isn't dangerous, it won't work.

Get out of Dodge.

Check your guns at the livery stable or the marshal's office.

And it worked.

Harpy Holidays.

What are the holidays without stepchildren?

Quiet. Peaceful. Pleasant.

Flanders fields.

Ned Flanders, that is.

It hasn't worn out. Our hero.

A protected species.

Loggerheads are nesting right there.

The expense account will be sent to the world wildlife fund.

Material aid.

There's always accessory before the fact.

Or incitement.

Apple of his eye.

The competition is fierce.

How about an iPad?

A pregnant pause.

A sticky situation.

Goes right to her buns.

We are driven.

She's just scraping by.

Maybe it's his driving that's the problem.

And now for something completely different: Me & Dog.

Evidently, Douglas Adams and The Beatles had it right.

Me & Dog is the story of Sid, an ordinary kid, and Murphy, his ordinary dog.

Sid, despite his self-diagnosed ordinariness, engages in some deep thinking about the relationship between himself and Murphy. Although it must be conceded that Sid's assumptions about Murphy's view of the cosmos are speculative, at best, and heavily dosed with the pathetic fallacy, at worst, he has to be given credit for his generous opinion of Murphy's intellect.

Based on observations of Murphy's behavior, Sid concludes that Murphy regards Sid as "King of Everything." One is tempted to assign this rather flattering conclusion not to Murphy but rather to Sid, but Sid's observations seem to be sound, even if his conclusions amount to rather dodgy doggy theology.He does Oliver Cromwell one better, in fact, and allows that while Murphy could be wrong, it doesn't really matter.

Anyway, though Sid readily admits that Murphy's assessment of Sid's omnipotence is misplaced, he thinks that it is best not to disabuse Murphy of the belief. Or even to attempt such persuasion. Let sleeping (or deluded) dogs lie. Which brings Sid to the satisfying sentiment of Adams and Lennon/McCartney, love is the nest of all possible philosophies.


And then, one Thursday, nearly two thousand years after one man had been nailed to a tree for saying how great it would be to be nice to people for a change, one girl sitting on her own in a small cafe in Rickmansworth suddenly realized what it was that had been going wrong all this time, and she finally knew how the world could be made a good and happy place. This time it was right, it would work, and no one would have to get nailed to anything.
Sadly, however, before she could get to a phone to tell anyone about it, a terribly stupid catastrophe occurred, and the idea was lost forever.
This is not her story. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams.

All you need is love
All you need is love
All you need is love, love
Love is all you need
All You Need is Love, Lennon/McCartney.

The CSI effect.

You don't have to go to State Pen to get educated.

Just watch TV.

Hurricane Cynthia.

Depends on which way the wind is blowing.

Super storms are all the rage.

Riot in cellblock 9.

1963 is about the right year.

Doing time for armed punnery.

Method in her.

Lee Strasberg would be proud.

A tear would be nice.