He's a poet.

It was even funnier with Balzac.

Oh, real mature.

Great expectations.

Reality should always conform to expectations.

Or what's a billion dollars for?

Time off for good behavior.

Not feeling like herself?

Who does she feel like?

Thirty Something.

Lucretia was 33 a while back.

But who's counting?

Robocall.

My machine asks your machine for its vote.

One way to lose.

The ascent of man.

The long history of the queue. It just seems like a million years.

The queue is in our genes.

When you assume.

That oughta learn them.

They're both feeling mighty silly.

Laughter is the best medicine.

Or so Reader's Digest would have you believe.

Not!

Chiquita Banana's arch enemy.

As long as you aren't Carmen Miranda,

You'll be fine.

Sir Thomas More.

Bolt that down.

Some things are better left unsaid.

Market Warriors.

Finding something as old as you...priceless.

A trip down memory lane gets expensive.

Hating is a fulltime job.

In the words of the old song, I'm Henry the H8th, I am, I am.

The hours are flexible, and it has great job security.

Taking the long view.

She doesn't have to hold out forever.

Barney's lifetime is just long enough.

One giant leap for womankind.

It's her fault for not turning it on when she came in.

Tricky things, monitors.

I've been working on the railroad.

Working the railroad, in a manner of speaking.

Dinah blow your horn.

Miranda rights.

You have the right to an attorney.

Read him his rights.

Born that way.

Puddle of what?

Careful where you step.

Conflict resolution.

Not just another pretty face.

Lucy Van Pelt had the same problem.

I dream of djinn.

That would explain a lot.

Calling Barbara Eden.

Sinkholes happen.

Painted ones happen in the strangest places.

It's a wonder that the parking lot wasn't swallowed.

Pain in the...

Evidently, all it takes is for the cartoonist's back to go out to create a joke.

And they say that the knees are the first thing to go.

Pillsbury's Law of Whines.

It should have been discovered by Boyle.

Or possibly Charles.

Send in the clones.

Who doesn't like lab rats?

There have to be clones. Maybe they're here.

Murder, She Wrote.

Didn't we learn anything from the Joan tragedy?

She'll be perfectly fine.

Bring 'em back alive.

He must really be ambivalent about airlines.

But he doesn't fly coach.

Old Knobby.

Don't touch that dial.

It only went from 2 to 13.

Did he ever return?

No, he never returned.

His fate is still unlearned.

The Twenthieth Century with Walter Cronkite.

And you were there.

Everything's up to date in Kansas City.

Winner by a nose.

Enough to send him to the bottle for comfort.

And he never got beyond it.

Embellishment.

You have a choice.

A sprig of mint or parsley?