Hooterville.

Stereotyping -- the ability to type with both hands.

Cletis must be one of those fancy spellings. Cletus is normal.

A man called Caine.

Probably just a fan.

I'm pretty sure that the sprinklers are at fault.

There's method to his madness.

Think: What can brown do for you?

It's the Cheek-Clench Method.

I got your resequencing right here.

It's supposed to be "creative differences."

Call in the hostage negotiator.

Emoticons save the day.

That could not have been any more informative ;>p

I, also, vote for option two.

Nine out of ten scientists say.

The research speaks for itself.

If you are wise, you let it speak for itself.

A burning question.

What's the Fahrenheit for burning plastic?

Fahrenheit 446.

Uncle Sam is fussy.

Which is why it's called Selective Service.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Smarter than the average bear.

Or more smartly dressed.

The pickanick basket is the infraction.

Don't cry over spoiled milk.

If you start out with something that is already sour milk...

How do you know when it's spoiled?

Owed on a Grecian Urn.

Eb keeps his loved one close to him.

And his wife elsewhere.

You can't say that in the funny papers.

Fallacy.

And it's spelled with a "ph" at the beginning.

Call me Ishkabibble.

Thar' she blows!

Set to the oars, boys!

Hare's looking at you, kid.

When things get harey...

A not entirely subtle way of getting Adolf a little time in the strip.

Possum's Book of Unbearable Puns.

Possumbly the world's worst pun involving a marsupial.

No wallabies were harmed in the making of this pun.

Let bygones be bygones.

Albert be gone.

Not one to hold a grudge.

Hairnet city.

Duane looks like Hercule Poirot with that hairnet.

At least it could have been California.

The Ivory Snow Girl.

Or Snow not-so White.

Marilyn Chambers, perhaps?

Revenge of the Lucas-Disney Deathstar.

Saved by S.T. Coleridge (by way of J.R.R. Tolkein).

He was visiting Tobias and Elspeth when he overheard the conversation.

That Girl.

Phil Donahue's wife.

Hans Conried's niece!

Teamwork.

I thought that the point was that there needs to be an exception.

Or possibly not.

Take my wife, please.

If you are going to do an old joke...

Then really do an old joke,

Z is for Zombie.

Barney has found something that not even a zombie will eat.

Pass the mad cow disease.

Survivor's guilt.

Didn't Alan King do a routine based on the surviving widow?

IBM PC survived by its keyboard.

Why ask why?

Why not?

It was a chain reaction kind of thing.

Thank you for choosing Cable-Comm.

No jury would convict her.

Your roots need a touch-up.

Really top secret.

Isn't that Ed Snowden?

Look out for WikiLeaks.

You're so superficial.

You would be surprised how often that surface comes up.

In other words, it is bent.

Yankee Doodle Dandy.

I always thought it was a James Cagney.

Or at least a George M. Cohan.

Spoiler coming.

She should have seen that coming.

No, I mean literally seen it coming.

Say hello to my little frenema.

With a catchy new slogan.

"It can't hurt!"