Sweet bird of youth.

Give yourself some Pep today.

Or maybe some Maypo.

Jurassic TV.

Even the dinosaurs had a time-traveling train.

If you live in a 2-D world, what good is a 3-D TV?

Follow the leader.

Essentially the same principle as GPS.

Use your phone's car-finder app.

How to succeed in busyness.

It's important to enjoy your work.

One man's success is another man's suckiness.

Pangloss strikes again.

The best of all possible worlds.

Or not, as the case may be.

Do the math.

Even potted plants can do division.

You need it to understand the unemployment rate.

Snow job.

The esquimaux have fifty words for crazy ideas.

Duane has his sources.

The courting dance.

With human males, however, it never stops.

Even the red eyes are the same.

Arrangement in Brown and Grey No. 1.

Whittling usually is done with a knife.

This is a job for a chainsaw.

A fate worse than death.

With any luck, the elevator will plunge to the basement.

Try the emergency exit.

Last of the Mojitos.

Featuring Bloodshot-Eye.

Or, as he is known to the bar patrons, Curbfinder.

Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

What if the badger won't wear the tutu, Brain?

Stop badgering me!

Do not call -- send money.

Can I interest you in funeral insurance?

There's always the coins in the big jar by the front door.

For bettor or worse.

What are the odds?

Win, place or show me the money.

Soon to be available, Lindsay Lohan.

New names being added all the time.

That's as cold as they are.

Marilyn, My Marilyn.

Stephanie Rawlings-Blake, mayor of Baltimore, Oberlin grad.

A little lobbying at breakfast can't hurt.

The Incredible Shrinking News.

All the news that fits on a napkin.

And a paywall provides even less shelter.

Duke of earl.

A title is a title.

Some real titles have less behind them.

Second movement.

Diarrhea runs right off the tongue.

And dysentery sounds like nobody has a good word for Terry.

Put a tiger in your tank.

It's the thought that counts.

At least he didn't hand over his debit card.

Baked by eleves in a hollow tree.

Genetically modified elves.

Which explains how they get so much done.

LIttlest house on the prairie.

Privy Purse is where you keep the penny you have to spend.

Behind the privet hedge.

Valley Forged.

Let the accountants battle it out.

They're expert reproductions!

The face on the carton.

It's not as if the artists drew on cartons full of milk.

If it reads, it bleeds.

It's a steal.

It's only plagiarism if you get caught.

Or confess.

Education B.C.

You can learn a lot from zot.

The ancient wisdom passed on.

Dog training.

Sit. Beg. Play dead.

Don't speak.

Domain for sale.

Just apply at Goduddie.com to claim.

We apologize for the inconvenience.

Not to be confused with that centurion in Monty Python's Life of Brian.

Biggus Dickus.

Romans went house.

Total eclipse.

He would have to wonder where those satellites came from.

And the orbital physics would be dead giveaway.