It is April 1.

She didn't specify which Mr. Buffett.

That's better than a banana peel.

Modesty should be publibly acknowledged.

Philanthropy is best when done anonymously, more or less.

Any resemblance to Anonymous is purely accidental.

Hecho en Mexico.

There is the slightest chance that a misunderstanding could arise.

It's all in the spit take.

Autopilot.

It's good to have regular habits.

Or he could just set the sleep timer.

My hovercraft is full of eels.

That droning you hear is the sound of a Predator.

If you are going to take everything literally...

Santa's Workshop.

Has had a lien placed on it.

And all his elves have been attached.

Flush with success.

That's why Eb is number one in the family.

Just plumb tired.

Your call is very important to us.

Follow the bouncing ball.

"I'm sorry, but I didn't understand that."

Daughter of Lucretius.

The last king of Rome, L. Tarquinius Superbus.

Just don't mention Lucretia Borgia.

Yankee clipper.

Considering the general health of the Yanks, that is actually conceivable.

At least shortstop, anyway.

Ms. Spoliery McSpoiler.

She takes the fun out of it.

Elementary, my dear Foxx.

Sixteen tons.

Or Big Bad Barney, as the case may be.

I think that the soul-owning thing is going a little too far.

Play Ball!

Buy me some peanuts and crackerjack.

She might have a point.

They call it the Condorminium.

Servants in tuxedos is nothing unusual.

You should see the summer house.

Norm!

Nothing wrong with George Wendt.

They are talking about a Cheers reunion, aren't they?

Barney Google and Sparkplug.

All that's lacking is Snuffy Smith.

And Loweezy.

Paging the Donner Party.

Yes, this is exactly what happened.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

Take my wife.

For example.

No, seriously...

Hannibal and Clarice.

Well, who else would be eating Al Fresco?

Is he a mural painter?

Real TV.

I blame A.C. Neilsen.

If nobody knows you are watching, are you really watching?

The last word on first names.

Someone is right, but I've lost track.

Everybody is right. Right?

The Trojan parrot.

Beware of geeks bearing gifts.

Is it live, or is it Memorex?
Polly want to take dictation?

The baby prevention monitor.

Just don't take it on an airplane.

Now if men had something similar.

Columbo's minimal information problem.

As told to Lt. Columbo by Theodore Bikel.

You have bags of gold coins, any number that you wish. Each bag has the same number coins, however many you wish. One bag contains only counterfeit coins. The counterfeit coins either weigh less than the gold coins or more, whichever you wish. You have only a scale to use to find out which bag contains the counterfeit coins. The scale is operated by inserting a penny, and you have just one penny. How do you find the counterfeit coins with only a single weighing?

Cyber Warriors, Inc.

Go right to the source for the best protection.

I think I see a problem.

No-man's land.

It pays to be disagreeable.

Know when to say no.

Mr. Peepers.

Wally Cox would be the perfect person to install it.

The clenched fist gives it away.

Suave and strong.

Honesty is the best policy of last resort.

Small steps.

Easy as pi.

There might be an irrational in there.

Something doesn't add up.

Sluggo.

Just add beer.

Not sure what the N.R.A. would mean in slug language.

Miss Piggy protests.

What do you call Miss Piggy's karate moves?

Pork chops.