I lke turtles.

And nobody ever asks what happened to the tortoise.

That's what he gets for not wearing a hat.
What makes it worse is that a tortoise is a mock turtle.

Catch some zeds.

It looks as though it would be relatively easy to catch some zees. With a net.

Take Sominex tonight and sleep. Safe and restful. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep.

I'm sorry. I can't do that, Dave.

Just call him HAL for short.

His last name is 9000.

Pigeon English.

Because the always are interviewed in the restroom.

Or because pigeons always poop on the statues.

I've heard that song before.

It's from an old familiar score.
I saw a man who wasn't there. He isn't there again today.

Short-term memory is a problem for some people.

Spock's Brain.

I wonder if "ogling" was how that originally read?

Wouldn't hormone shots accomplish the same thing?

Such a tease.

And when it's done in the comics,

it's a strip tease. Rimshot.

Elba, schmelba.

John Cameron Swayze said, "These are the Timex that try men's souls."

And Nathan Hale really said, "Damn, that didn't go as planned."

Pointed comment on bra-burning.

Well, in fact, Darryl is wrong. Bra-burning did occur.

See a Penny, pick her up.

Does that also apply to J.C. Penney?

He's beginning to remind of Dr. Sheldon Cooper.

All in the family.

Darryl D. Bunker, no relation to Archie or the Dingbat.

And this is my other brother Darryl.

In Memoriam Maurice Sendak.

Well, here's another fine Night Kitchen you've gotten me into.

The only Tatum I know is O'Neal.

Never offer Dabney a penny for his thoughts.

They aren't worth a plugged nickel.

D'oh.

Because "So, a needle pulling thread" is impeccable.

Be bop a Lula, she's my baby...

It's like deja vu all over again.

Earnest has been gnawing this particular bone since April 5.

A good, healthy obsession is one that lurks and waits for its moment to recur.

Humuhumunukunukuapua'a.

My fish mo' bettah. It no ka oi, koi.
It watched too much PBS.

Duane could be the first person ever beaten senseless with an aquarium light.
He could be sleeping with the fishes.
There's something fishy about this suicide.
I could understand it if the fish were called Wanda. It just wanda'd away.

You won't like me when I'm angry.

Don't anger the elevator. It will never stop if you make it angry.

It knows your weakness is impatience.

Vertigo come, vertigo go.

Duane is slowly wearing down her resistance.

Yesterday the moving stair

Wasn't moving, wasn’t there

It wasn’t there again today

Now all I do is stare all day.

Three Billy Goats Gruff.

Isn't she just trying to get their goat?

Butt me no butts.

Ripley's Belive It or Huh?

Huh facts are a new class of useless facts, AKA Bar Facts.

Unless you write a comic strip, that is.
Look in the IFAQ, infrequently asked questions.

Boner's Ark.

Special discount for famous pets day.

Rin-tin-tin, Benji, Beethoven, and Lassie have their own days.

Cooter.

And because of computerized cash registers, nobody knows how to make change anymore.

The 2,000-year-old man has nothing on Ebenezer.

Hash Tag.

We used to call it a pound sign. There's following, and then there's stalking.

At least they are paying attention.

Bieber fever.

Or it might just be the flaming going on.

But don't mention Jerry.

Herve Villechaize.

Well, she wants a Tattoo.

Barney was taking quite a risk. Who wouldn't want a tat of Kim Jong Il?

Gen Shift Option K.

Apple will already have secured the naming rights by then.

.
For the moment, we'll ignore that Gen X was turning 20 during the 1990s.

Who are Jim Backus and Leslie Nielsen?

Quincy Magoo must have been related to Dabney.

People who have played Magoo.

Anarchy.

The next step is total anarchy.

There will always be rebels.
They probably didn't know whether to recycle this strip in the plastics or the metals, since it is irony.

A viking we will go.

What a horrible thing to say.

They made it to the Superbowl. That counts for something.

Lobster: Ocean-going insect.

As Willie Scott said in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom,

"I had bugs for lunch."

Watts up, doc?

Running the joke right into the ground.

Sparks are flying at the cooler. Water is the conductor for their electric wit. The are poles apart.