Say what?

I'm sure that there's a perfectly innocent explanation for their behavior.

Ask a silly question.

It's like Barney's teen years all over again.


He's experiencing a second childhood -- his father's.

Plus.

A small mandatory handling fee will be added to the bill.

When Barney Met Billy.

You cannot do that scene without Meg Ryan at the next table.

Hey, Rocky!

Watch me pull a joke out of my butt.


Adolf better be careful in that neighborhood.

Little-known fact.

The 4/21 strip was actually scheduled for 4/25. The 4/25 strip was an emergency relief brought in at the last minute to save a sequence.

Old dogs are the best dogs.

Just not the best dressers.

The truth is out there.

The light is on, but nobody is home.

And I'm talking about Clyde. UFOs are real. The explanations are imaginary.

Gag a maggot.

But has she seen Lou Dobbs?

Then she will be old enough.

You can't say that in the newspaper.

Shocking. George Carlin is dead to him. Oh, wait.


The headliner in my car is always sagging.

It's never too early for lunch.

Or too late for a little child abuse.

Unresolved sugar daddy issues.

Moving from kept to trophy status can do that.

That's crazy.

What is this, Antiques Roadshow?

Don't call me "sir."

Marcie grew up to a comic psychiatrist. Who knew?


Whatever happened to Patty?

Home and Away.

The WaPo site must be trying to tell us something.

Instead of the P&B maze, it is running Home and Away in the B&C slot.

It's Pinky and The Brain.

Pinky and The Brain. One is a genius, the other is insane.


Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Chewing the fat.

Over the old backyard fence or the old cracker barrel.
Talking down.

Call the exterminator.

Roach sighting.

I don't know if Dabney is guilty of stereotyping or racial profiling, but he's guilty of something, mon.

Toll free lawsuit.

I sense a class action as people get clothespins stuck to their tongues. I mean Lazyman chopsticks.

I always preferred the elegant peg clothespin.

Supersize me.

Laughter is the best medicine, according to the Reader's Digest.

Hubba hubba.

Adam's original name for woman was "While you're up, get me a beer."


And just for the record, the orange color is named for the fruit. Like olive color is named for that fruit.

In for a penny, in for a pound.

Let's not get the cart before the horse.



The screen on Cynthia's watch was scratched before.

Cattle Call.

I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille.

No, it's her'un.

As the farmer said to the vet.


Don't be cross.

Howard Handupme.

We don't want to know the mnemonic for his gastroenterologist.

Presumably, Barney's proctologist is not female.

Whizzer of Id.

Urine for a surprise.


Both of you.

John Law.

Lucky thing for Dabney, it's Wednesday.


In Florida, an elephant tied to a parking meter must pay the same fee as for a motor vehicle. Which is because he has a trunk.

Answering the musical question...

What do you get when you cross Barney Fife and Jacques Clouseau?

"I am a philosopher and he is a businessman. He doesn't tell me what to think, and I don't tell him what to do with his money."

All business.

"Does your minkey have a license?"
He's a business associate. Best not to mention that either, because then he would need a business license.


That's Anne.

The little house behind the little house on the prairie.

It's the padded toilet seats that Elspeth really envies.

The sweet smell pf success.

The woman is a saint.


You seldom see such self-sacrifice now.

Spnsored by S. C. Johnson, a family company.

And the RCA Victor Company. His master's voice.



Little Nipper.