Walk this way.

As Marty Feldman might say.

I would have guessed that they were there for the human guinea pig program, or to sell blood. The question is, whose blood?

And such small portions!

To quote Woody Allen.

Cold pupu platter?

Afterward.

Sic transom gluteus.

It's always good to have a Plan B.

You aren't rich if you cannot afford transoms. And accomplices.

Plumbing is fundamental.

Cynthia takes an interest in manual labor.

A good plumber is worth his weight in gold. That's his rate.

Republican economics.

Today we see an example of the root of the housing bubble. As explained by Milton Friedman.

The rich bums get the boxes from the Lexus commercials.

I'd walk a mile.

Matthew, 19:24. "Again I say unto you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God."



Today's homily is drawn from Matthew, Luke, and Mark, and the Modern Version contains the Ken Follett version, too. (Rent the 1981 movie, starring Donald Sutherland and Kate Nelligan,)

Next week, the hilarious story of Dives and Lazarus, which we mentioned back in March!

We do wonder why Cynthia has transported a Bactrian camel into a Biblical context, when the Dromedary would have been more locally appropriate.

HOHOHORRORS!

Barney has a Merry Running Dog Capitalist Christmas! Paint it like it is, Cynthia.

A Martha Stewart moment.

At least we know its from somewhere in the vicinity of the heart.

Sincerity is everything.

It's the thought that counts.

What a lovely bow. It makes the gift wrapping all the more important.

Doctor, doctor.

Did you hear the one about the Nazi doctor who disguised himself as a crippled stevedore after the war?

Dr. Mengele became a mangled docker!

The larger problem.

Barney cannot remember his own phone number.

Depilation is the trend.

Today, we draw (ha!) your attention to this remarkable, hairless character.

Someone call the comics police!

'Twas Freemish and the Schuster's Fork.

Did gyre and gimble in the wabe.



You can tell that it's a dream, because Barney punctuates a question with a period.

Next window, please.

I would comment, but I have to go on mandatory break.

The slowest stationery creature on Earth would be origami.

Call him petty.

Just because there is no B&C stamp, Gene vents at the Postal Service.

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.

The world ends soon. It's not as though your life is important in the grand scheme of things. Besides, she and Dabney are obviously in collusion.

Hello, in the box!

And he can make a few bucks entertaining the customers by throwing his voice! 'Sawright!

You cannot spell PICTURE without "Pee."

Today it's paint by the numbers. There's some Number One, and over there is some Number Two.

Does that heartbeat have a murmur?

Or ish it merely shlurred?

Hey, hockey puck!

Mr. Weinrickles drops his pants and fires a squib. "OMG, Tyler, anyone else hurt in the accident?"

Inside every teacher, there is an angry bald man screaming at Letterman.

It's all Greek to me.

The girl with the Roman name should talk! Does Katy have a sister named Helen? And what, may I ask, is wrong with Klytemnestra? This proposition is pretty Iphi.

Sleight of P-R-O-N-O-U-N-C-I-A-T-I-O-N.

Strictly speaking, there should be dashes in the name when it is being spelled. But to make the joke work, it has to appear both as if it were being spelled and pronounced simultaneously.

We are so easily tricked. We should be ashamed of ourselves.

Fear is the path to the diaper on the head.

Zucchini the Great you are. Clyde and Yoda much in common they are having.

Taught to the tune of a hickory stick.

Hickory was an encouragement to good behavior in the days of the Little Read School.

School days, school days.
Dear old Golden Rule days.
Readin', and 'ritin', and 'rithmetic,
Taught to the tune of a hickory stick.

Teacher evidently provided a well-balanced education, what with the bustle to balance her bust.