Special diet.

As excuses go, that's hard to swallow.

That took guts.

Silly rabbits.

 Adolf came up with his stage name...

McNeedsahug all on his own.

Logorrhea.

 In one end and not out the other.

He simply couldn't hold it in any longer.

Conspiracies R Us.

 And the Bilderbergs are all Freemasons.

A subset of the Roman Piso conspiracy.

That's a firm Noh.

 Just the same old song and dance.

Ono?  Oh, Noh !

It bears repeating.

Well, at least he is consistent.

Little being the operative word.

You might feel a little pinch.

Like the dinosaurs, we never knew what hit us.

Maybe like the Cavemen we can still sell insurance.

The Robber Barons' Thesaurus.

 The well-known No Losers Mutual Insurance Company.

Premiums are high, but benefits are higher.

Work in progress.

 It is such a stimulating work environment.

And such inspiring co-workers.

Attention shoppers.

 Subtle hints are out this year,

So cut to the chase.

Milking it.

 And even more people are afraid of medical bankruptcy.

Patients deposit their money, but only he takes  it out.

Doggone it.

 Is the paper to smack him on the nose...

Or to use for paper training?

There's a lot of that going around.

 Sometimes she only cracks wise.

Irony is not what it used to be.

Tone indicator required.

 He should have appended the slash s.

Thus the confusion about sarcasm.

War, what is it good for?

 The Next Really Great War will End All.

We have had 2.1 and 2.2.

No news is good news.

 Where ignorance is bliss, 'tis folly to be wise.

You happy few.

The Hit Parade.

 Yeah, but what does Dick Clark say?

He is the Cat's Pajamas.

Curiosity killed.

 His ennui is something new.

He is so jaded.

Sacrifices.

 Compromising your principles for money, how American.

Gluttony before greed.

You don't want to know.

 You should try her amazing Jackal Surprise.

Hyena flown in fresh daily from Africa.

Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall.

 Things always look so much better...

In the morning with a hangover.

The Landslide.

 The polls are the best indicator...

Of a complete lack of actual reporting.

Coming of age.

 He ages at one-quarter speed,

But the birthday parties are few and far between.

If the aptonym fits.

 Some things just seem to be fated.

Separated at IVF.