Failure to communicate.

 Whatever you have been trying...

It has not been working.

No head, no horse, no sevice.

 Floating heads was the Norelco gimmick

Fourth wall and ceiling shattered.

Monster Bane.

 Monsters watch Barney movies for horror.

Scary then and scary now.

To Tell the Truth.

 He believes that part of the marriage vows...

To forever hold his peace.

Fuzzy Logic.

 Good thing he's a robot dog and not a cat.

A cat house is something else altogether.

Me, Myself and I.

 Stop putting words in her mouth.

Or so you say.

Grave matters.

 Do not put off till tomorrow...

What you can do today.

First things first.

 Call when you have a saleable cure or a vaccine.

Otherwise, you are wasting his time.

What rhymes with bus?

 It is not "itis;" but rather "itus."

That ringing is just his phone in his earbuds.

Baked in.

That is a lot of bread, to be sure.

He's beat.

The price is wrought.

 Ask the worm in the bottle of tequila.

A drunken stupor helps with any problem.

Collective blindspot.

 Not only is he invisible,  but...

He can't be heard either.

Autonomic response.

It is nothing more nor less than the...

Instinct for self-preservation.

Ain't she sweet?

He is not above accepting a bribe.

A little persuasion is in order.

How thoughtful.

 That is how Cinderella got her start.

As long as they aren't hand-me-downs.

Cornered the market.

 Retirement planning includes many things.

Stock up on the essentials.

Self-Serve.

 It simplifies most, if not all, decisions.

What's good for him is good for humanity.

Part and parcel.

 Maybe not so much funny as true?

Or as Jack Benny used to say, "Now cut that out."

Sell by date.

He might not have passed his expiration date,

But his warranty has lapsed.

The name game.

 What's in a name? A diversionary tactic.

Two can play that game.

It's a wash.

 She has decided to come clean at last.

Leaving no doubt that she is his problem.

Heated air.

Must be something wrong with his hearing.

Some people talk with their hands -- as fists,.

Robot Protection Society.

 Jerking on the leash is abusive.

Stop it.

Author. Author!.

 Too bad that Clifford Irving is not available.

His biography of Howard Hughes was big.

Work of fiction.

 Find someone with a talent for fantasy.

Barney didn't take the hint, or the bait, as may be.

Too big to fail.

 In the words of Ira Gershwin...

It ain't necessarily so.

A Bitter Pill.

 And her father makes the pills for them.

Jackie O.

Creative desert.

 Maybe encourage making better products?

Same old lies, different products

Free thinker.

The updated four freedoms: Freedom of speech...

Freedom from want, freefall, freedom from facts.

Limited supply.

 He is already out on bail.

In theory, the 13th and 14rh Amendments say it is.

Drawn out.

 He does not want to spoil a check with graffiti.

His doodles were so good, Grandpa drew on linen napkins.