Don't mind me.

 But after all is said and done...

It is only a suggestion.

Thomas Wolfe was wrong.

 You can go home again, like it or not.

All expenses paid.

Dragnet 2024.

 As he is hiding under a cardboard box...

He could call himself Sydney Carton.

Fuzzy logic.

 Sometimes you really should...

Cut out the middleman.

There be monsters.

 It's crowded with all those monsters under there.

He would never stoop that low.

The Whale that got away.

 The only sure thing ever.

Easy money.

Conscience doth make cowards of us all.

 Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?

The Shadow knows.

Bungee jumping.

 Next up, jumping off a bridge.

Only uninsured poor people pay for health care.

The Devil's Workshop.

 She does her part to keep the money circulating.

Occupation: Shopper.

Sweet smell of excess.

 The three basic food groups...

Cookies, cakes and sugary snacks.

The unspeakable.

 Nothing to speak of happened.

The silent treatment.

Gut reaction.

 Places to go, people to see, lunches to eat.

Not all questions are imponderables.

Nobody expects the French Revolution.

 Better than, "Let him eat grass."

"Off with his head."

Someone to watch over me.

 And he turned out to be such a disappointment.

Names can sometimes hurt.

Shark tanked.

 The last person to annoy the sharks...

Now sleeps with the fishes.

Every man for himself.

 His middle name is Hazard.

Hazardous Driver warning lights.

The mushroom treatment.

 Mushrooms prefer the darkness to sunlight.

Universities will accept only the elite hoi polloi.

Call now.

 Is your manufacturer's warranty about to expire?

Call American Robot Shield.

Robots all.

 It takes ones to know one.

A match made in Silicon Valley.

Never the bridesmaid.

 With Duane, it's more like minus one.

Pride goeth before asking Duane, or destruction.

See you in the funny pages.

He must be a lot older than he looks.

Where's Barney Google?

TMI.

 And that will be the only tip you will get.

Putting on the Ritz.

Weather or not.

Everybody else talks about the weather.

He hates it.

Climate of denial.

 Goldenrod is his favorite flower.

The profits are nothing to sneeze at, or are.

Funny Girl et al.

 As funny as and with all the sophistication of Dorothy Parker.

Say goodnight, Gracie.

Get real.

 Money can't buy me love.

A nice pen that leaks will remind him of her

Rules for a happy marriage.

 Even ghost husbands always blame the dog.

Wives, leave it at that.

Cue Randy Newman.

 If you want a friend, get a dog.

Unless you are Kristi Noem.

The old Rose Mary twist.

 Must be her great granddaughter.

Accidents will happen -- with video recorders.

Do the right thing, updated.

 All the most exclusive clubs...

In West Palm Beach do it.

The Unemployed.

Also known as La Boheme by The Pooch.

Victor Borge always liked Joe Green's Traviata.