Reality bites back.

 Believe it or not, reality always wins.

In addition to measles, there's a lot of denial going around.

Something's wonky.

 He got the skin tone right.

Oompa Loompa trumpity do.

Try, try again.

 Where is the Undo key when you really need it?

Whatever you did, do the opposite.

The basics.

 The ground rules for a successful marriage.

She agrees that he is very perceptive.

Don't hold your breath.

 She never even bated her breath in anticipation.

Sculptors sometime heave a bas-relief.

Potshots anew thing.

 Has it really been a year...

Since the syndicate changed?

Fit to be tongue-tied.

 Next time, try 21st Century medium, texting.

And yet, somehow, she got the message.

A journey of a thousand miles.

 One small step for a woman...

One giant leap for analysis.

Do tell.

 Do not even think of asking.

The very last place you want to go.

Something going around of late.

 Swapping one type of highway robbery...

For another type of highway robbery.

A simple reduction.

 Love means never having to eat...

Squid in ink sauce.

Conversation starters.

 Because there are more beans than pigs in the world.

Beans are easier to catch.

She drives me crazy.

 She is rich enough to set up a trust fund...

For his survivors.

Job satisfaction.

 He likes his job so much...

That he does it for free.

Let's do the time warp.

 They must be traveling at nearly the speed of light...

To have aged so little.

My fair lady.

 In the immortal words of Henry Higgins...

"Why can't a woman be more like a man?"

A taxing situation.

 Happy Tax Day. Many happy returns.

Please do not do us any favors.

In the clutch.

 When the time comes...

Cars will all be autonomous.

Tent city.

 Share and share alike.

It's a class act.

Hits and Misses.

 You would prefer mesdames, missy?

Usually, just misses, unmarried.

A loss of focus.

Crackpot tested, crackpot approved.

The out of focus group.

Asgard it.

 Named for Wednesday Addams, of course.

We still thank goodness it's Friday.

Appointed to the bench.

 In the words of Dr. Samuel Johnson...

He has a "bottom of good sense."

Blackout.

 AKA The Great Eclipse.

Cancel culture strikes again.

All the world's a stage.

 Lights. Camera. Action!

Put a little drama in your life.

Sunshine makes me happy.

 Definitely NOT the fearless vampire hunter.

Look out for that eclipse.

Both Sides Now.

 What you lose on the roundabout...

You make up on the swings.

The Laws.

 That would be a violation of the Third Law of Robotics.

Or that's what you want me to think that you want.

The less bad news.

 In the immortal words of Monty Python...

Always look on the bright side.

Sunnyside up.

 He will have whatever she is on.

Happy talk is their most important product.