Brave new world.

 And Socrates is the predecessor of Pier 1 and

Bed Bath and Beyond.

Admiral in the Queen's Navy.

 He is merely rehearsing for H.M.S. Pinafore.

But everything is stainless steel and chrome.

The meaning of it.

 Nobody ever can stop at just one entendre.

Got her coming and going.

Bringing the heat.

Easy way to tie his shoelaces.

Job satisfaction is important when it's for eternity.

The good old days.

 Nostagia ain't what it used to be.

When did these feelings of inadequacy start?

Truth be told.

The only thing worse than being talked about is...

Not being talked about. - Oscar Wilde.

The fatal fold.

 The caltrop is even simpler and pointier.

No walking around barefoot from now on.

No half measures.

 Never leave any task unfinished.

If it's worth doing, it's worth doing well.

It's a dog's life.

 Dog Pidgin is easy to pick up.

Very colorful doggerel.

He's balmy.

 The bottle is out of the box.

As Magi go, he's thr one with the myrrh balm.

Fibber on the roof.

 Now sing, "f I were a rich man."

Love me or leave... my money.

Panhandler Inc..

 He is a one-man corporation.

Don't forget to collect the Self-Employment tax.

Plea bargain.

There are bargains, and then there are plea bargains.

Slap on the wrist.

Free education.

Look at the shoddy product they produce.

Because they have short attention spans for negotiations.

Universalism.

 At heart, she's a Stoic.

Ask William Shatner about gremlins.

Punny you should ask.

 And if he belonged to Charisma Carpenter...

He would be charismatic.

Amendmentitis.

 Taken to its logical conclusion.

Argumentum ex extremis.

No room for improvement.

 "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."

You cannot improve on perfection.

The dismal pseudo-science.

 Economics is not bean bag.

It is bean counting.

Sweet deal.

As if sugar were not already addictive.

Prescription only sweetener.

Cold water flat.

 Not only rent-free, but rent-controlled.

But there's never enough hot water.

Pascal's Wager.

 Perversely honest or honestly perverse?

You decide.

Leaf it be.

 Never put off until tomorrow...

What you can postpone indefinitely.

Solemnly resolved.

 Resolutions are easier to keep...

If you never even tell them to yourself.

The eye of the beholden.

 Romance isn't dead, just comatose.

New and exciting in so many unexpected ways.

A blanket statement.

 Makes one feel all warm and fuzzy.

All too human.

One of a kind.

 Both Barney and Santa are sui generis.

Those H-1B visas can trip one up.

Good help is hard to find.

Exhausted just from watching them.

Slaving over a hot checkbook.

Don't Panic !

 Only one way to find out.

Curiosity and the Cat.

Can you hear me now?

 You did not hear it here.

Say that again to his face.

Selfie service.

 And they say that chivalry is dead.

A gentleman never notices.