Cast of thousands.

The tried and true gags never fail.

Family portrait time.

Happy New Year from the Barney & Clyde Blog.

But me no butts.

Yoda says,  "Lard or lard not. There is no butt."

Puts the hustle in her bustle.

Escape artist.

A trick that Houdini never mastered.

I dreamed I performed magic in my Maidenform bra.

Sacred cow.

Well, there goes India.

He was going to say, "Holy cow patties."

Barney, Betty and Bamm-Bamm.

Better than Flintstones. It's  Rubble.

And how do you plan to keep kids from swallowing the real things?

Mad as a hatter.

The Warden in Word Girl is always eating his hat.

Mercury poisoning to follow..

If it's a felt hat, he would be eating rabbit.

Just call her Bishop Foxx.

She could have been ordained. By hook or by crook.

Give him the hook.

It's less disruptive than the gong.

The gist of the magi.

They were astrologers, after all.

Astrology was the first natural science.
Merry Christmas on behalf of Barney & Clyde.

Greatest Show on Earth.

Is running in the kitchen. Also hiring a lion tamer.

There's one born every minute.
Trapeze artists don't wear pads and helmets. That'll show him.

Spices.

When you are a bigamist, you have spice.

Louses spelling up.

Bound for glory.

Fit to be tied.

The original title of this comic strip was Leopold and Donatien.

D'oh.

Not everyday that you find that much bread.

What a crumby joke.

Hold-em.

He said with a poker face.

Or straight. It suits him.

Riki-Tiki-Tavi.

Nag and Nagaina better watch out.

It's all right. She's a charmer.

Or their natural enemy, the fakir
It makes a nice change from the usual cat and dog, dog and dog, cat and gerbil fights.

Tapiring off.

She can quit any time she wants.

A visit from the death panel.

Bringing her work home is just a temporary thing.

What is Banal, Alex?

B-oddly Functions on Game Shows for $1000.
The alimentary canal secret to winning on Jeopardy.

Be anal. Retain everything.

Special K.

The gateway drug to the horse tranquilizers.

Barney recognizes that there is a market for it in the park.

Staid in bed.

Some of her best thinking is done in bed.

Anyway, that's what Consuela is paid to do. The union will be picketing. And think of it as solving the unemployment problem.

Q and A.

Mind your Ps, too.

Let's keep that on the QT.

The early worm.

It's the very best  place to tie one on.

Or to find worm gear. Fishing for compliments?

Public enemy.

Dillinger had nothing on her.

I could be wrong, but nobody ever sees the bottoms of your shoes, unless you are killed by an irate car owner.

Flatley denies it.

All clogged up.

It probably has something to do with standing in line for the restroom.

Seven Year Itch.

It's exactly like Monroe on the subway grate.

Call Dabney Steamer.

Except for the gender, and the great legs, and Joe Dimaggio.
Without the monthly steam cleaning Dabney would get the itch.

A bit of a pun.

So, what's the drill?
It bodes ill, but it augurs well.

He might ream you a new one.
It's bracing.

It makes scents.

It's like fingerprints, you mean.

It's the equivalent of a rear license plate.

Mind reading.

It's like she has ESP.

Chortle interruptus.

You can rupture something that way.

Shear madness.

That's what she gets for going to a clip joint.

Catch the wave.

Surf's up!

R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

With a name like Butkis, you would expect his nose to be...well...

Good job, Brownie.

Shoes styled by Mr. Dabney.

Get them while they are still young.

And they are yours for life.

The Manolo Blahnik of the toddler set.

A founding member of NOW.

I believe only in nownownownownownownownownow...

Do you want that gift-wrapped?

DO call me late for dinner.

Respect does not imply cooperation.

We prefer anthropophagi.

SHAZAM!

And Captain Marvel would agree if he were not an infringement.

UberAlien from another planet, fighting for Truth, Justice and the American Way.
Fawcett will be suing for the lightning bolt.

Ralph Edwards would be pleased.

Truth or Consequences.

Beulah the Buzzer must have sounded.
He didn't let him finish the answer, "In theory. In theory!"

Oxford theory.

And Bacon was eaten by Marlowe.

In fact, Shakespeare wore Oxfords.

We're number one.

You'll take my burger when you pry it from my cold, dead hands.

Pound for pound the greatest nation on Earth.

It's a thing we like to call mass marketing.

Orion the Crapper.

When Don Mclean says, "Lend me an ear."

That way lies madness, or post mortem fame.

Look for the union label.

There ought to be a seven-second delay.

She can't even go to the Student Union Building.
Watch out for his wardrobe malfunction at halftime.

What it was, was football.

Which gave us the Melon bowl.

And rugby was played on a rug.

Stuffed.

And everyone is stuffed, not only the bird.

The circle of life.

Radical roots.

It's all Greek to me.

A little learning is a dangerous thing. Especially in the wrong hands.

Miner in English.

Dig it. 7 habits of rarely affected people,

Little ore, no effect.

or nuns in a cloistered order.

What was the question again?

Did you say, "I don't get laid?" Or "I can't get laid?"

Screwy grammar.

Be it ever so humble.

Ruby slippers not required.

Sweet dreams are made of these.
Who am I to disagree?
I've traveled the world and the seven seas.

Maybe it was gremlins.

Or possibly menehunes.

It's like the socks that get lost in the washing machine.

Timex.

Takes a licking and keeps on ticking.

JohnCameronSwayze Barnard Pillsbury.

What, you thought he had a Rolex?
Of course I can describe it. Mickey's big hand was on the twelve, and his little hand was on the two.
There is more than one way to hold the one percent accountable.
 What time is it?

The grand bargain.

"Go big."

Money cannot buy me love.

The Great Compromiser. Or maybe just the Great Miser.

United we stand.

We shall not be moved. Except by Pillsbury Laxatives.

Captain One Percent.

Up, up, and away...

Cue the William Tell overture..

All right, now you have the American Indians mad at you, too.

Tonto and the Billionaire.

"Ridden out of town naked."

I'm not completely clear on who will be naked or who will be riding whom.

If you assume the mortgage.

Seems only equitable.

You occupy Dabney's home, and he gets to occupy yours.

De-feet funny Gus Toad.

Hey, it works for Clem Phelgm.

A Jim Henson creation.

Lovable like Kermit The Frog.