Cornered the market.

 Retirement planning includes many things.

Stock up on the essentials.

Self-Serve.

 It simplifies most, if not all, decisions.

What's good for him is good for humanity.

Part and parcel.

 Maybe not so much funny as true?

Or as Jack Benny used to say, "Now cut that out."

Sell by date.

He might not have passed his expiration date,

But his warranty has lapsed.

The name game.

 What's in a name? A diversionary tactic.

Two can play that game.

It's a wash.

 She has decided to come clean at last.

Leaving no doubt that she is his problem.

Heated air.

Must be something wrong with his hearing.

Some people talk with their hands -- as fists,.