As seen on TV.

 He has played one on TV.

"Would I lie to you?" is always a bad sign.

Fake it till you make it.

 Once he learns to wag his tail...

Humanity will be helpless.

Counter programming.

 On the bright side, that means that sales are brisk,

And there is no such thing as coincidence in TV schedules.

Footloose and fancy free.

 They don't call him "Jailbreak" for nothing.

All part of the Orientation.

Veterinary adjuncts.

 Don't mess with Mr. In-Between.

But which is which?

A year like no other.

 And those are you new Cabinet members.

There will be one fewer day, thank goodness.

Slow motion.

 That tinkling sound is the Fourth Wall shattering.

There is such a thing as too much self-awareness.