Saturday, January 31, 2015

All dogs go to heaven.

But no cats.


It is doggie heaven, after all.

Friday, January 30, 2015

Thursday, January 29, 2015

Global worming.

A cure for bad puns is next in the pipeline.
Somebody had to come up with a catchy phrase.



Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Phys Ed.

But beer pong will prepare them for college.
It's an elective.



Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Monday, January 26, 2015

Sunday, January 25, 2015

Saturday, January 24, 2015

Metered.

Would that make him a metered male?
Luckily, nobody uses the metric system.



Friday, January 23, 2015

Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.

I love you tomorrow...
MaƱana is good enough for me.


Archie Bunker sings "Those Were the Days."

Edith you dingbat.
We could use a man like Edward Jenner these days.



Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Cursory inspection.

What you see is what you get.
What do you mean by "we?"



Liability, Inc.

Maybe he should call Legal, instead.
MLB never sues over PEDs.


Sunday, January 18, 2015

Scandal.

Isn't that a TV show of some sort?
Or is that How to Get Away with Murder?


Saturday, January 17, 2015

Friday, January 16, 2015

Post-It.

Don't forget to remember.
Who are you to say? No, really, who are you?



Thursday, January 15, 2015

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Everybody talks about the waether.

But nobody does anything about the climate.
Well, technically, they have done something to the climate.



Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Goodwill hunting.

Time off for good behavior is a valid reason, too..
Or just a guilty conscience.



Monday, January 12, 2015

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Saturday, January 10, 2015

Friday, January 9, 2015

Fifth Generation.

That should put her in her place.
Up, up, and away.


Wait, that's the Fifth Dimension.

Thursday, January 8, 2015

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

The Court Jester.

Whatever rhymes with chalice.

With apologies to Danny Kaye.




Fount of Wisdom Part Two.

The dialogue for today's strip ought to have been:

Panel One: Barney, Duane, Architect. Barney is looking at design of new building.

Architect: And the plaza in front of the building provides a welcoming...
Barney: Where's the fountain?

Panel Two.

Architect: In the interests of water conservation...
Barney: There must be a fountain.

Panel Three.

Architect: We can put a nice garden of drought-resistant plants.
Duane: What do people do when there's a fountain?

Panel Four: Architect thinks.

Architect: Eat their lunch, cool their feet...
Duane: Throw money.
Barney: There must be a fountain.


Heads will roll.

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Fount of wisdom.

Barney's own make-a-wish fountain.
He's a mind reader.



Monday, January 5, 2015

Sleeps with the fishes.

And then it's a burial at sea.


There might be some pronoun mischief.

Sunday, January 4, 2015

I Spy.

With my little eye, something that begins with C.
Robert Culp never complained.



Saturday, January 3, 2015

Eraserhead.

It would only count if she first showed her work.
She deserves an incomplete.



Friday, January 2, 2015

Making a monkey out of Anrew Jackson.

It's like that book by James Burke, Connections.
One thing leads to another.

Critical mass and a chain reaction.

Thursday, January 1, 2015

Re-education camp.

It's the short attention span that forces it.
Indoctrination requires repetition.