Three gold balls.

Anything of value. Kidneys, bone marrow, that extra lung.

Looks good on paper.

Thirty pieces of silver.

Or one piece worth thirty dollars.

My Precious, metals are usually going up.

If you can fake sincerity.

You have it made.

Sincerity is over-rated.

Looey, Looey.

Or maybe Barney is just cheap.

Where was the moth that usually lives in his wallet?

Piranha grapes.

Found only along the Amazon river.

Seedless are good, too.

Brain drain.

Sometimes you just can't get your brain to cooperate.

You just can't trust your brain.

Retro recorder.

Just where does the tape fit into it?

Is it Betamax?

Church of the Almighty Dollar, Inc.

Looks like Cynthia has it all figured out.

Right down to the plea deal.

Tetraethyllead.

It's not as if corporations used pseudo-science in the past.

Or lied about the dangers of their products.

Federal Bureau of Internet Standards.

And dumb platinum blondes.

If you can't trust the FBIS, who can you trust?

Thinning the herd.

It has the additional advantage that Duane eliminates potential rivals.

Of course, if they are in Lithuania, then that makes it simple.

The great restorer.

It's not as though he's gone over to Jenny McCarthy.

Everybody except Barney saw that one coming.

Welcome to Dogpatch.

And you will have to get Joe to sign off on the deal.

Ingredients may vary.

Caught in the draft.

Explain it to the draft board.

He should be eligible for the student deferment.

Zap!

The death spiral is pretty disturbing, too.

The bugs never say anything when the bats strike.

Isn't pizza and eggs a Dr. Seuss book?

Leave to somebody to ruin pizza.

You just can't trust those Europeans.

Correlation or causation.

Aw, who can resist a kitten video?

And then there is that hero cat.

Would that be a cartoonist?

What so bad about being an egotist?

Or isn't that what she meant?

Humzinger.

They prefer the visible hand to the invisible hand.

Which is only natural.

Enlightenment.

It's a good thing that Buddhists are non-violent.

And very tolerant.

Just bearable.

A lack of effort on both sides.

They should try harder in the future.

Sappy Mothra's Day.

Or something like that.

That's just sappy.

Meet Beau Tox.

Stiff upper lip, and brow, and cheeks.

That's another kind of party altogether.

50 million Frenchmen.

If it bleeds, and there's an American, it leads.

Millions of foreigners is a statistic. One American is a tragedy.

Walking Deadhead.

First, you have to find the brain.

Then it has to be worth the effort to get it.

I like turtles 2.

Lest we forget, here is the video that swept the world back in 2007.

I like turtles.

Sic transit gloria mundi.

Or something that can never be lived down?

The efficiency expert.

A little shorthand can speed things along.

It's not whether you win or lose, but if you beat the spread.

Meet Buzz Word.

Nouveau business is all the rage.

If you can't understand it, it must be really advanced.

Accordion to whom?

It's Weird Dean Martin Yankovich.

Running interference patterns.

Parsimony.

Or as it is better known, getting by on the cheap.

Parsimony butters no parsnips.

Carry a big shtick.

With careful planning and some trusts, that shouldn't be a problem.

Not to mention gifts.