Monday, October 31, 2011

Animal magnetism.

The Old Spice man has nothing on them.

The sweet smell of desperation.

Sunday, October 30, 2011


No, really, they are stereotypes. Clones. Copies.
You've heard of the Boys from Brazil?

Saturday, October 29, 2011


Not exactly Gene Wilder.

The one time every year when come as you are is right on for Dabney.

Friday, October 28, 2011

You dirty rat.

Holy Mother of Pearls!
A Jimmy Cagney impersonator.
PBS doesn't just mean Public Broadcasting System.
Time to get a rabies shot.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

A salt.

Throw salt on a salt and what do you get?
Salty language followed by...

wait for it...


Is it Halloween already?

Or is this the express elevator?

Beats the handbarrow.
Next session includes the first wife for balance.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Rhymes with mouse.

Sometimes a cigar is just exactly what you think it is. And sometimes it is also a new sports car for the therapist.
Billing bonanza.
They make a medicated shampoo for that.

Monday, October 24, 2011

How's that pronounced?

A tongue twister, with the stress on the blot.

Tongue twister.
It's over her head. Literally.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Don't have a cow.

Don't you just h8 that?

Ye Olde Ffaste Ffoode.

Does anyone say toemahtoe?

Did you ever have the feeling that someone is watching?

As Thomas Magnum always said, "I know what you're thinking."

The Road to Mime.
At least they can look ahead in the script to see how it ends.
For any villains we may meet
We haven't any fear.

Paramount will protect us,
'Cause we're signed for five more years.

Saturday, October 22, 2011


Joining the ranks of pigs and hockey moms.

And former governors of Alaska.

Thursday, October 20, 2011


Busted, as it were.

Something on your mind?

Wednesday, October 19, 2011


High marks for efficiency. No wasted time on needless preliminaries.

The engineering department would be proud. She probably was thinking chess, anyway.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

The pickup artist.

Suave, sophisticated, dashing. It's Cary Grant.

Or possibly Bond James Bond.
He could learn from Dilbert.

Monday, October 17, 2011

AKA Mrs. Matthew Broderick.

Oh, I just love Sarah Jessica Parker jokes.
Cynthia tells a mean joke. Cynthia Nixon, that is
So, Senator John Kerry walks into a bar...

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Mind meld.

Your mind to my mind. Your thoughts to my thoughts.
Will the real Vulcan please sign in.

 What wine goes with indefinable meat?

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Lord have mercy.

One more wheel makes all the difference.

Here's hoping that Duane never walks on a bike path.
It is impressive that he persuaded Taffy to step out with him, though.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Reset button.

The long-lost cousin from South America has an identical twin who faked her death during the earthquake, but then she fell and struck her head, suffering amnesia, after which she was mistakenly identified as her sister, who by a strange coincidence was switched at birth with her sister, and is, therefore, really her own twin.
It was then that the bus spun out of control and stopped on the edge of the cliff.

Occupy Miami.

We need to sit-in until the Miami Herald restores B&C to its daily comics lineup. I assume that Gene and The Washington Post will be paying for us to occupy The Ritz-Carlton for the duration.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Give it to Mikey.

He hates every serial.

Perils of Pearls Before Breakfast.
Especially now that it's turning into 9 Chickweed Lane.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Silver sixpence in her shoe.

He's well-worn, or wears well.

Allowing for wear and tear.
But he's not wearable. Putting him on is also doubtful.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

And thus was a phrase coined.

Which explains why people were so often given the bird when they asked for the time of day.

And in the Autumn and Winter they used turkeys,  which meant that time passed much more slowly.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Cola nuts.

That, and the cameraman used a lot of crank.

That's why it was sold in drug stores.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Channeling Caulfied.

Call me madam.

Or that would be redundant, mistress of irony.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Fatal error.

You bought a Windows computer.

The mother of all errors.
I cannot put my finger on it, but I suspect that there might be a trace of sarcasm in Cynthia's explanation.

Tempus fugit.

Time flies when you can't remember last night.

Pope Gregory off the wagon.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Conservation of angular momentum.

It's simple Newtonian physics.

Torque wrenched his back.
It's a closed system, Charlie Brown.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Perfect synergy.

The sum is greater than the parts separately.

Want to see my impression of Gandhi?

Tuesday, October 4, 2011


Fluffykins McHasagimmick.

Is Adolf a rabbit or a hare? He cannot be both.

The canny Scot.

Aye, and he'll make a fine stew.

The Scotsman's Big Mac.
For that I'll expect you'll do the butchering. And dressed, the skin will make a sporran.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

The grapes of drats.

Cynthia is a regular maenad of picky eaters.

It's an orgy of complaints. To paraphrase Terminator, "I'll be bacchic."

Cart before the horse.

 There was an accident when a horse-drawn wagon careened down a hill into a tree.

Which came first?

Happy Birthday, Gene.  Get any good presents?