Cynthia prima suis miserum me cepit ocellis,
contactum nullis ante cupidinibus.
Named for the mistress of the Roman poet Sextus Propertius, daddy's little girl imagines herself the daughter of Raoul Julia and Angelica Huston, who was kidnapped as an infant. Her best friend is Emily the Strange. Cynthia has a pet Spider Crab, Cancer, which she bred herself for the school Science Fair. Working in the Pillsbury lab, Cynthia combined the DNA of a tarantula and a Japanese spider crab. The embryo was nurtured in a medium saturated with HGH. She keeps Cancer in a 50 foot deep aquarium with foot-thick plexiglass walls. Yes, it's that big. Needless to say, she won the first prize at the Science Fair.
Cynthia and her pet designer spider crab, Cancer.